A Tough Cross to (Chicago) Bear?

Dear Lance Briggs,

Out of my love and respect for a fellow human being, I am urging you to get a grip. I don't know you or your family, but I do know what it's like to live in D.C. Actually, you'll be playing and practicing in Maryland, which is even worse. You don't have beautiful Lake Michigan with hot babes sunbathing in the summer, you have the Potomac, with dead rotting fish. You don't have a breathtaking city skyline, you have the beltway with traffic twice as bad as Chicago. DON'T DO IT, MAN!

Lance Briggs salary as a Chicago Bear: $7.2 million
Lance Briggs salary as a Washington Redskin: $20 mill
NOT LIVING IN DC: PRICELESS

Anna Narcotics Smith

Holy crap! The number of drugs found in Anna Nicole Smith's body was higher than her IQ.(that would be 9). Human growth hormone? Chloral Hydrate? An absess on her buttock where she injected vitamin B-12? Methadone? Actually, I think Methadone is the new "hollywood" drug of choice and Brittney Spears, Lindsay Lohan, and Paula Abdul better be warned. At least they don't perscribe to the deadliest drug of all: Howard K. Stern. I still blame him.

How Soon We Forget

Spending a Saturday at work doing some housecleaning. I have a unique filing system where I shove all my paperwork into what my co-workers call my "bowling bag". Ok, it doesn't look like your wallstreet briefcase, but it works for me. Anway, It's getting rather heavy, so that means it's time for a clean out. I am a news junkie, and a history nut so It's hard for me to throw anything out because it's, well, "history", right? Anyway, it's amazing to me how soon we forget what was, on a certain day, "major news". Remeber Kyra Phillips? The CNN reporter who didn't realize her mic was still on when she was talking trash about her sister-in-law? Remember that creep, John Mark Karr? How about Borat? I mean you couldn't go a day without hearing "Borat speek" and now, silence. I did stumble upon some good Indianapolis Colts jokes, though like: What's the difference between the Colts and a dollar bill?
You can still get four quarters out of a dollar bill. Obviously written before the Superbowl. Mabye some things are better forgotten.

Frenchie Fried

I can't blame onetime American Idol contestant, Frenchie Davis for being upset that she was kicked off the show for topless photos, but this seasons Antonella Barba, who's pictures are MUCH worse, hasn't. The reason? One word, WEIGHT. No, not race, weight. If Frenchie was "Playboy" material, black, hispanic, asian, or other, it wouldn't have made a damn bit of difference. Frenchie may have a few extra pounds on Antonella, but she's also way, or should I say WEIGH more talented.